Wit & Wisdom (Once monthly)
December 28, 2024
Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Hiking Teaser
I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What color was the bear? (Answer Below)
Live & Learn—I've Learned...
You should never eat the cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving—Age 12.
That when you tell your younger brother that he can fly, he'll try it—Age 12.
It's best not to discuss how many children I want to have while my wife is pregnant—Age 41.
That when I'm angry, my mouth works faster than my brain—Age 58.
That you can't raise your family by remote control—Age 45.
Worth A Thot
Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others.
Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Thomas Edison
Scratch a dog and you'll have a permanent job.
Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
Twitter-Pated
Did you hear about the notebook that married the pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.
Why should you avoid marrying a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts. What did one rabbit say to the other on her birthday? “Some bunny loves you.”
Why should you never date an apostrophe? They’re possessive.
One Letter Makes A Big Difference
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he sent his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
"Dearest Wife, I Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
Answer: White. The only place you can hike 3 miles south, then east for 3 miles, then north for 3 miles and end up back at your starting point is the North Pole. Polar bears are the only bears that live at the North Pole, and they are white.
