Wit & Wisdom (Once monthly)
November 28, 2024
Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Cooking Instructions
- According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv."
Until the agency received this letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag, and I want to tell you, it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.
Cross-eyed Rottweiler
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to the vet: "My dog's cross-eyed,is there anything you can do for it?"
"Well" said the vet "lets have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at it's eyes.
"Well" says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down"
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.
"No, because he's heavy" says the vet.
It’s A Sign
Fruit stand: I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
Store: 0% Off On Select Items Today.
Gas Station: Free apology with every fill-up.
If attacked by a clown, go for the juggler.
Point to Ponder – People would worry less about what others think about them, if they only realized how seldom they do.
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?" "No, he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond, I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."
"And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."
"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"
"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."
Sentence Sermons
When Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
Feed your faith and doubt will starve to death.
There are eternal reasons for temporary trials.
Trials are medicine given by God for our spiritual health.
God bases our worth not on what we have, but on who we have, namely, Jesus Christ.
