October Wit & Wisdom
October 26, 2024
Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
True love is helping others for Jesus’ sake even if they can never return the favor.
Money can be a helpful servant, but a cruel master.
Three conversions are necessary—heart, mind, and purse.
Brain Teaser — The water level in a reservoir is low, but doubles every day. It takes 60 days to fill the reservoir. How long does it take for the reservoir to become half full? (answer below)
Life as a Female Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I could deal with that.
If you're a female bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wanna be a bear.
It’s A Sign
1. Muffler shop: “No appointment necessary, we hear you coming.”
2. Door of a computer store: “Out for a quick byte.”
3. Outside a hotel: “Help! We need inn-experienced people.”
4. Security Company: “Three out of four people make up 75% of the population.”
5. Billboard: “This year, thousands of men will die of stubbornness. No, We Won’t!”
Marital Advice
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!
What is the most romantic fruit? A date.
One Liners
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.
Twister Answer—59 days. If the water level doubles every day, the reservoir on any given day was half the size the day prior. If the reservoir is full on day 60, that means it was half full on day 59, not on day 30.
